"The plan is, there is no plan". These were the words of my OB, Dr. Katz when I got pregnant with twins. I had a rare disorder that they called a uterine anomaly so the fact that I was pregnant was a miracle and the fact that it was with twins was a big concern to my Dr. He knew the risks and he realized this was a high risk pregnancy. He asked me to think about reducing to one as he was concerned that my body would not be able to carry both, but I had fallen in love with the little heart beats inside me and reducing to one was not an option for me. I wanted to know exactly what would happen when it was time to give birth. Would I have a c-section? Would I have to go through labor? Would I give birth naturally to TWO babies? The whole idea of giving birth scared the shit out of me and I wanted to know the plan. He told me, "The plan is, there is no plan and I don't negotiate with terrorists."
As we got closer to the date, he told me that if I can give birth naturally, it's always ideal, however we will do what is in the best interest of my health and the health of my children when the time comes. So the plan still was... There is no plan! Ugh. I later learned that my Dr was a very wise man. I am so grateful that I didn't get my heart set on a birth scenario. My children's birth story is nothing like I could have ever imagined.
Everything went wrong that could have... I had an amniotic fluid leak which left my son without any fluid in the placenta that was holding him. This caused him to stop growing and he was now 6 weeks behind my daughter developmentally. In addition, I had severe pre-eclampsia which a life threatening illness when your body becomes toxic and your organs begin to shut down. The only cure is to deliver the babies. My Dr. sent me to the hospital for observation, gave me steroid shots to help my babies lungs develop and was planning on keeping me there for two weeks to make sure I was safe. My husband had the flu and was not allowed in to see me. My mom happened to be in town and she came every day and sat with me. I was terrified. I sat and listened to the monitors constantly, focusing on the beating of my son's heart. I knew my daughter was ok. I could feel her kicking away, but I no longer felt my little boy and the only way I knew he was alive was to listen to his heart beating and to watch the monitor. They kept a blood pressure cuff on my arm that took my bp every 15 minutes. When my blood pressure was too high, alarms would sound and that happened more often than I was comfortable with. On my 4th day in the hospital, my water broke and they rushed me to the OR for an emergency C-Section. It was too early. My babies were 2 and 1/2 months away from the due date. I have never been more terrified in my life.
This was the beginning of the next six weeks of our stay in the Cedar's Sinai NICU and the beginning of the scariest, hardest and happiest time of my life.
