I'm full term... two weeks to go!

Just got back from the dr. I cried the whole way home. Yep, I'm already sleep deprived with pregnancy insomnia and hormonal, so that probably had an impact on me. But I cried because the dr told me that I'd have a normal c-section and that I'd be holding my baby girl immediately after she is born... in my arms. Those words triggered something in me that just made me cry. I didn't have that with Dani and Sebastian. I didn't even get to meet them for 24 hours. I always say that I wouldn't change that experience for the world because looking back at the silver lining, it was such a precious time for me. No matter the trauma, 6 weeks in the NICU taught me so much about the value of family, life and the two gifts we have that have made us complete. I accepted that I missed that Gerber moment. I accepted that this was our birth story and wasn't meant to be like everyone else's. But to be able to have a second chance, to have a healthy child that I can welcome into my arms... it's emotional for me. It makes me sad that I didn't get that with Dani and Sebas. But it makes me cry with joy that I can look forward to that. I can't believe I am bringing another little life into this world. It is just to big to comprehend. And I can't fantasize and dream about her like I did with D&S because I know too much. I know that whatever I picture will be totally different than who she really is. I know what to expect and that it's not that romantic fantasy you have with your first, but at the same time, I know how much love I will have for her that I could have never have even dreamed about in my first pregnancy. 2 weeks to go. Getting ready, getting emotional and just waiting to hold this precious little girl in my arms. Zoe... see you real soon! xo