The mom of twins that were born at 2lbs and 3lbs shares her story and day to day thoughts about raising twins that got an early start to life.
Friday, September 7, 2012
I'm full term... two weeks to go!
Just got back from the dr. I cried the whole way home. Yep, I'm already sleep deprived with pregnancy insomnia and hormonal, so that probably had an impact on me. But I cried because the dr told me that I'd have a normal c-section and that I'd be holding my baby girl immediately after she is born... in my arms. Those words triggered something in me that just made me cry. I didn't have that with Dani and Sebastian. I didn't even get to meet them for 24 hours. I always say that I wouldn't change that experience for the world because looking back at the silver lining, it was such a precious time for me. No matter the trauma, 6 weeks in the NICU taught me so much about the value of family, life and the two gifts we have that have made us complete. I accepted that I missed that Gerber moment. I accepted that this was our birth story and wasn't meant to be like everyone else's. But to be able to have a second chance, to have a healthy child that I can welcome into my arms... it's emotional for me. It makes me sad that I didn't get that with Dani and Sebas. But it makes me cry with joy that I can look forward to that. I can't believe I am bringing another little life into this world. It is just to big to comprehend. And I can't fantasize and dream about her like I did with D&S because I know too much. I know that whatever I picture will be totally different than who she really is. I know what to expect and that it's not that romantic fantasy you have with your first, but at the same time, I know how much love I will have for her that I could have never have even dreamed about in my first pregnancy.
2 weeks to go. Getting ready, getting emotional and just waiting to hold this precious little girl in my arms. Zoe... see you real soon!
xo
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